Mother's in the thick of raising toddlers are pretty exhausted. They may already feel that they aren't cutting it, that they can never meet their childrens' endless list of needs, and that they are not capable of enjoying every moment in all the ways they had planned to when they entered the journey of parenting.
People who are far past the season of raising young children will typically share sentiments like, "Enjoy it while it lasts," or "The time flies by so fast," or "Remember that one day you're going to miss this."
While those statements may be true they may also drive in the message that if someone is not enjoying every second of a child's potty training accidents, sleepless nights, frustrating tantrums, power struggles, speech delays, sensory needs, financial strain with raising a family, and even lost and forgotten personal dreams, that that parent is failing because their attitude must be in the wrong place as this season is to others the most enjoyable of all.
Now before you say, "That's not what I meant." ...or even before you say, "But all the hard times are worth it because this time with your kids is priceless...." I want to speak up real quick for the tired moms.
You're so far beyond tired. I hear you. Your fatigue causes a myriad of joy inhibitors. That wasn't exactly what you imagined before you became a parent and that really stinks! You feel like you have to work for 10 hours or more to get a rewarding moment with your child that only lasts 10 seconds long before it's over. You want to put your child in extra-curricular activities so they can find themselves, but you don't often have the time or resources. You want to give your child the world, but it's too much to give and you feel disappointed because you lose a dream every time you can't give your child what you wish you could give them. I feel all of that with you, because I'm there.
The last couple years of child raising have been so hard for me that even tho I never thought I'd never say it, I'm actually grateful my kids are growing. I am not physically or mentally capable of maintaining this stress level for the rest of my life so I know the Lord is good to us that children do eventually grow up.
My message to you is that it isn't always going to be this bad. Nothing lasts forever--everyone knows the good times can't last forever (they're only 10 seconds long, right?), and the blessing of that message is that even the bad times won't last forever.
I know you're cherishing these days, because I do, too--10 hours apart and 10 seconds at a time. It's a cryin' shame the joyful moments aren't closer together. The rest of the time I'm just paddling upstream, wondering why I thought it was a good idea to trap myself in a life with so much responsibility. Most of the time I question how on earth I thought I could handle having so many kids. Most of the time I wonder if there will ever be an end to the stress and duress, an end to disappointment of comparing reality of the mother I am compared to the mother I'd hoped to be, or an end the chaos overload. I'm pretty sure there will be some end--and at the end of it, will be a short little nugget of joy that I will not need help being told to enjoy because I will have worked my buns off in order to earn it. Like my twinners' Kindergarten graduation last week. I really enjoyed that. I cried. I beamed. I was so proud of my kids. I ate up their funny faces and cute dance moves. I smiled and took a million pics. I hugged my kids and squoze them tightly. I lived and LOVED that moment with my babies like no other. And then at the celebration after school my kids started fighting so my day turned suddenly back to the grind of mothering. That shift happened sooner than I planned. I had no control over their whining and crying. The joyous feeling everyone was sharing together came to a screeching halt and I had to teach them on the spot: the notorious work of a parent in order to earn another moment in time that would later be joyous for me.
It came today--that new happy moment to cherish. The kids made a fort out of the kitchen table and we weren't actually able to eat our dinner on it. 🤣 It made me laugh. They're so creative. They even cooperated with each other with no glitches (#win). When our house is clean they change it and make it "better". Nothing is allowed to be boringly sterilized or magazine worthy around these parts. Crazy little humans (I adore them).
So Mamas in the trenches (and Papas)--I'm here with you and for you. I have NOT forgotten just how rotten and exhausting these days can be. I'm going to pray for you (and for me) that the hard times shorten and the good times lengthen. But we're only going to get there "One Day at a Time". I know you eat up and treasure those priceless moments. Who wouldn't? When you're feeling like crud, tho, just remember you have permission to NOT enjoy the throw up, boogers, potty accidents, screaming, whining, financial stress, anxiety, sticky stuff on your clothes, and whatever the heck else your mountain to climb is right now.
Just know that you're going to get over that mountain someday and so will I. You're rocking it Mama! I'll see you on the flip side.
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