Remember this post about "Paddling Upstream"? Actually, you probably don't, because I felt too vulnerable to post it in real time, so it got back-dated.
But let me tell you...
Shortly after I had my baby, I came down with mastitis, and I lost my milk supply, and my doctor put me on a temporary medication and 2 herbal supplements to repair the problem. The regimen DID fix the problem, and I was able to take care of my baby. But when I tried going off the medicine, it affected my milk again, so I had to continue taking the medicine. All the while, my life felt so out of control. I felt overwhelmed, and I was having a majorly hard time adjusting to life with my 4th child. I was exhausted all the time. Yes, I was waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, but even with that, I was getting close to 12 hours of sleep because I fell asleep super early and could hardly pull myself out of bed in the morning, and I still couldn't stop myself from conking out during day time baby feedings. I hardly had the energy to fix meals or tell my kids to pick up after themselves. I just felt so defeated, and not cut out for being a mom of 4 kids.
I simply couldn't take it anymore. I finally changed my prayers, and I asked God to give me the strength, energy, and ability to be the mother to 4 kids that I was when I only had 3 kids.
During the days where I had changed my prayers, I had the thought that I needed to check my medicine bottle. So I did....
"May cause drowsiness and dizziness...."
What's crazy is that when I FIRST read the bottle almost 2 MONTHS earlier, I had dismissed the side-effects and thought to myself, "This can't be worse than anything else I went through when I was pregnant." Well, it was. And the side effects were worse than the medicines I had to take to keep my pregnancies.
I decided it was high time to "Say No to Drugs" - the side effects of the medicine weren't worth the benefits of taking the pills. If I lost my milk, so be it. There are worse things than feeding your baby formula.
I am so grateful that the Lord answered my prayer. What is neat is that during the time I was on this medicine and feeling so overwhelmed and incapable, without even realizing I needed help, and without asking for it, many angels were sent my way. I cannot even count how many random acts of service were done for me by friends and family during this time. People just thought of me and called me, or showed up at my door to see if I needed help with anything. I was so humbled by this. I am beyond relieved, however, to now have the answer to what was wrong with me - I have been feeling like myself for the last 4 weeks, now, and the Lord has helped me to enjoy having 4 kids in the same way I could enjoy having 3, and to top it all off, I'm still able to nurse my baby. I have been able to handle more and I feel on top of what I need to do as a mom. I'm not perfect, and the house isn't always perfectly clean, but I feel like myself again.
I'm not saying all medicine is bad. I know that if the good Lord hadn't led me to doctors and modern medicine during my pregnancies, I wouldn't have children at all, because without medicine I lose babies. So I know that sometimes medicine is the right answer for your medical problems. But in this case, in order for me to be a functional mother, I am so grateful to get this particular medicine OUT of my life.
Say No to Drugs!