This week I took a trip with my 6 kids and some friends and their kids. We went to Sedona--inside myself I felt proud and empowered for doing something so brave as a mother. I may have even called my husband and said, "I'm a WOMAN, hear me ROAR! I'm doing this!" The experience was so awesome. The kids and I went hiking, fishing, site-seeing, and of course we also went down Slide Rock with water temperatures in the 40's! Haha! On my third and last run down the slide with a kid, I may or may not have had to ask my friend to help me out of the water because I could no longer breathe OR swim. 🤣 I laughed so hard drying off in the warm sun as it beat down on me and the red rocks.
A lot of people encourage me in my life as a mom with 6 kids, but I'm just a small-fry kind of crazy mom compared to my cousin Tiff.
Yesterday I had the chance to attend the kind of beautiful temple ceremony that Mormons believe connects families together forever. The highest, most sacred, most purposeful, most fulfilling assignment to have in this life to most people but especially to Mormons is to be in a family. To work together, to love each other no matter what, to never abandon, to assist, uplift, and cherish, to teach, to nurture, to protect, and to purposely focus on helping your whole family find God (in a nutshell) is what Mormons believe in the most.
Well Brandon and Tiff Martineau are the kind of people who live that. They have 14 children, 10 of them adopted. The most recent two family members were sealed yesterday, and the service was beautiful. One-year-old Charlie may have been a little vocal about wanting to eat during the ceremony but the feeling in that room was full of love. All 14 were well behaved as something beautiful and spiritually moving happened for them in that sealing room. This was the last opportunity they'd have in the temple as a whole family before their oldest son, Tristen, leaves for a mission on Wednesday.
Tiff has helped me a lot this last year through the adoption of my two littles who have been thru trauma. She's given me advice; she's encouraged me; she's chatised me for not praying enough; she's listened to me; she's empathized with me in ways no one else I know could. She's been there for me IN THE FIRE. I asked her earlier this year, "Tiff, HOW do you do it?"
She responded with, "You just do it, Deej."
So there you have it, Everyone. It's the answer from someone who has been through the fire and is in the trenches still. With all things considered in prudence and moderation, remember that everyone in this world has different capacities and capabilities and THAT'S OKAY. Not everyone needs to or is able to parent 14 children especially with the majority having a trauma history, BUT maybe people like Brandon and Tiff wouldn't have to do so much if more people in the world stepped up to do it, too. Could you imagine if every capable family not only took care of their kids but reached out to other kids in need? WHAT IF all the capable/qualified/interested parents reached out to just one or two kids in need? Then people like the Martineau's wouldn't have to have 14, right? Brandon and Tiff are a fierce Mama and Papa bear tho and they'd NEVER give even one of those 14 to ANYONE else because they love them so much--even the hardest ones.
But WORLD OUT THERE, can you hear what I'm saying? As a society, do we force such a large burden onto one of the best couples among us because we don't have it within ourselves to be brave enough to do the same type of thing, even if it's something we want to do?
Do we just ask how people do it and then never find out how to do it ourselves?
IF that's what we do, then we have a tragedy, because a lot of good in this world will never happen simply because we are afraid to try.
It doesn't have to be an adoption journey, but I think this family shows us a lesson we can all use because of their adoption journey. The next time you're facing the largest mountain you've ever climbed, the hardest journey you've ever been on, the scariest black hole you've ever been in, the heaviest weight that's been on your shoulders, OR if you're facing the biggest dream you've ever dared to dream, when it seems unattainable to you and you have the gall to ask yourself, "HOW DO I DO THIS?":
Reach down deep and let your inner voice scream back the words, "YOU JUST DO!"
If you can find that inner strength, you can find the solutions to your problems, and if you focus on one day at a time, eventually there will be a day that you'll look back and realize the strength was in you all along. One day you'll be able to say, "I did it. I really did it."
How do you do something that's bigger than yourself?
You find a way.
You pray your way.
You make the way:
YOU JUST DO.
(The Martineau's squoze me in this photo like I belong with them, because that's just what they do. P.S. I was more than honored when that cute blonde boy on the bottom left told me yesterday that I'm in his "Top 5 Favorite People". He's such a great kid and I definitely do love and care about him and pray for him. I have a husband and 6 kids, so don't even try to do the math and figure out how it works out when I say Paul is in my "Top 5 Favorite People", too! ☺️ It just works, okay?)