I've been a little out of touch with the world for a while, but I'm approaching a sense of normalcy again. I'm 14 weeks along with my baby on the way! I never knew 3 1/2 months could go in such slow motion--well now I do, but I have also been extremely blessed. This round of pregnancy is nothing like my last. I have been sicker than a dog for about 2 months--luckily I got Zofran (a.k.a. "magic pills") and have been able to function "normally" for the last couple of weeks. About the time I got the Zofran, I was also wrapping up the 1st trimester and so I went off of my progesterone medicine. A couple days later I thought I was spotting but wasn't for certain, and I was having pains in my abdomen, so I called the doctor just to be sure. I convinced myself that nothing was wrong & that everything was fine--looking back I think I was trying to protect myself from disappointment because I didn't want anything to be wrong with my baby. Well, the baby is just fine and cute as can be with its little heart beat and doing flips in my stomach, but the doctor found that I have a complete placenta previa. That was a little shocker that day, and I've been adjusting my life ever since: no lifting laundry baskets, anything heavy or relatively heavy, especially not Tyson, no vacuuming, no standing for long periods of time, and no more walks to the park for excercize. I was so sad with the new turn of events. However, there is a chance this condition can correct itself & that's the biggest reason I'm on "limited activity", because there is still room for the placenta to attach higher on the other side. Not straining myself and praying is about all I can do in hopes of allowing my body to do what it needs to do to correct this problem, because if it doesn't that means that my "limited activity" will become something worse and extremely more limited. At any rate, my ward (church congregation) is so kind and helpful. I have been amazed at the willingness to assist that has been shown by people who know me as well as people who hardly know me at all. It's been humbling to allow people to help me at times, because they see my weaknesses first hand, and I'm afraid they'll judge me. But, I have only found smiling faces and kind words as they've helped me out. The 12 & 13 year old girls have offered to come and help me out for a couple hours on Tuesday nights--they help me with Tyson and help me catch up with chores I cannot do on my own. The women in the Relief Society have also been bringing me meals on the nights I am home without Mitch to help. It is amazing what a difference it has made for our family the last couple weeks to have the helping hands come into our home and bring sunshine into our days. I have literally felt my burdens being lifted and my ability to endure this has increased as well as my optimism that this situation really can change. I hope it does, but in the mean time my testimony has been strengthened.
The words to this hymn have been running through my mind: "Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord, thy God, shall lead thee. Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers."
While I have been compelled to be humble through this situation, as opposed to humbling myself on my own, I have still learned this lesson first hand. I have been humbled and weak in more than one way, and my weaknesses have been exposed to others, which has been the hardest part, but I have felt the Lord leading our family by the hand through this experience and my prayers have been answered. I have realized that when you allow others to help you, you are, in essence, allowing the Lord to help you. I have seen the "hand of God" through the "hands of service" of the women in my ward, as well as in the hands of service and prayers in my behalf given to me by my family and in-laws. They are being His hands as they have made my yoke easier and my burdens lighter to bear. I will always love them.
I have also experienced first hand what it means to "come to Zion and within her walls rejoice". "The Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them." The idea of a Zion people is happening as they work together to uplift and assist others. As the hands of angels have come to my door, they have brought a better spirit to my home and I have been richly blessed. Any trace I had of being poor in spirit is gone, and I have rejoiced.
I want to be like that. In any way that I am able, I hope that I, too, can be an answer to someone else's prayer.