Wednesday, October 19, 2011


 Have you ever loved someone so much that when they did something you adore about them, that you could actually feel it breaking your heart?  It's not the sad kind of heart-break, it's the tugging at your heart strings that makes you wish time could stand still, and that the blissful moments could be like this forever.  It's like your heart aches at the fleeting idea in the back of your mind that you could have chosen to miss out on this precious moment and you wouldn't have even known what you were missing because it's so tender and the moments like these only come when you're not looking for them.

It's the way you feel when your baby hugs you for half a second--not on your terms, but on his, and it's sweet and full of the grace and purity of a child's love.

 It's the way you feel when he tells you "Giddy-up", but it sounds like, "Bee-up, bee-up", and he begs for you to be a horse for as long as you can stand.
 The tugging at your heart comes when you see him cross his legs at a football game, watching a movie, or just to help him get comfy on the couch.
 It's the way you feel when your child speaks his first complete sentence and you don't know how to respond because he just said, "I don't know where my other shoe is."   That's 8 words, and 9 syllables...wasn't he just speaking in only vowels a few months ago? 
 It's the way you feel when you watch him trying to be like his Daddy--you can feel that he's already longing to fill those big shoes in all the same ways his Daddy can.
 It's the way you feel when you realize your angel is actually a class clown who howls like a were-rabbit and says gibberish like, "A-dobba-dobba-dee" in the middle of a lesson and all the other kids laugh.
 It's the way you feel when you eat breakfast together and are so grateful for the memories you get from meal times.
 It's the way you feel when you run to get the camera so you can capture the milk-mustache, because you know you'll probably never have another chance to actually get an unstaged moment like that again.
It's the way you feel when your child sees you at the end of church and puts his coloring page right in front of your face and says, "LOOT, Mommy!  Loot!"  And you can't see what he drew for you because it's way too close to your face, but you're so glad he's excited to share what he did in nursery.

It's the way you feel when you realize your baby just turned two, and your heart breaks to wonder where the time went.  It's the way you feel when you just wish he could be your little boy forever.