Saturday, August 31, 2013

Say What?

I have to write these down before I forget them.

Don't ask me why, but Emmett has always HATED the sound of the bathroom fan.   The other day he came running into the room Mitch and I were in to tattle on Tyson: "He turned on the air conditioning that makes the poop and pee yummier."

My neighbor texted me this story a couple weeks ago. Tyson was catching a ride with her, and she had a bunch of extra newspapers and coupons in her vehicle.  After they picked up her oldest son, Tyson said to him, "I just have one question.  Do you use your car as a garbage can?"  Fortunately, they thought it was funny, but I was so embarrassed!

Emmett:  Mom & Dad, will you consider my plan?
Me & Mitch:  Sure, what is your plan?
Emmett:  I have a plan to use 2 scooters, 1 stroller, and 1 skateboard.
(He wanted to go on a family walk...but all I could think was, "Did you just use the word 'consider'? You're THREE!" Side note:  Mitch remembered the plan, and we put it into action yesterday after work.  I ended up jogging while Mitch rode the skateboard & pushed the stroller at the same time.  It was awesome.)

A couple weeks ago we were at a Borden family dinner, when out of the blue, my baby Miles was walking up the stairs with a sharpened, pointy pencil.  He opened his mouth to put the most dangerous part in, and all I could envision was him tripping and injuring himself in a horrible way.  As I jumped up to save him, my mother-in-law called down to my nephew Caden, to make sure not to give the baby things like that, and he said, "What?  It's better than forks."

On the first day of school, I wanted to make sure Tyson's very first all-day experience went well, and so I stuck a note in his lunch box.  He could read pretty well, but I wasn't sure if he could read, "Hi, Son!  I love and miss you so much!  I hope you are having a great first day of school.  Enjoy your lunch, and I'll see you soon!  Love, Mom"  So I kept it simple.  I knew he could read his name, so I started with that.  "Tyson, I love you. <3 Mom"  When the school day was over, I asked him if he got my note in his lunch.  He smacked his forehead with chagrin and said, "I threw it away!"  That was okay,  but I just wanted to know if he read it before he threw it away, and then he was more embarrassed.  "I thought it said, "Hey Tyson!  Here's your lunch pack!  So I ripped it off because I was hungry."  Side note:  Now he saves all of the notes I write him in the little pouch on the front of his lunch box.  He's so sweet!

This next conversation was sent to me by our babysitter, Amanda, who is no longer our babysitter because she's now gone to BYU *sniff*.  She said this was the funniest conversation she's heard from the kids.

Tyson: "You're going to be a Grandpa!"
Emmett: "No I'm not!"
Tyson: "Yes you are! And you're going to be married!"
Emmett: "No!"
Tyson: "Well, don't you want kids?"
Emmett: "I'm going to grow them myself."
Tyson: "You can't grow kids without a woman! Women are baby-making machines! Mom made you. Mom made me too. Amanda's mom made her. You've got to have a woman!"
Emmett: *slight pause for the new information to sink in* "Oh"
Tyson: "They're baby-making machines!" (I think he said it again for emphasis. And I think he liked the sound of it.)

(Last one for the night.)  This has happened more than once with Emmett.  I'll remind him to say his prayers, and he'll say something like, "I'll talk to Heavenly Father myself without any help, but not in here by you."  And then he'll walk off and if you're lucky, you'll be standing around the corner and you'll catch him talking with God like He's a person in the room:  "Hey, Heavenly Father!  I'm going to Grandma and Grandpa's, now.  I'm going to be good; I promise." Kids are so pure and sweet!  No wonder we're supposed to be more like them.